Watch: How the PM fared when a Black Cap bowled bouncers at his head

For self-professed cricket tragic Christopher Luxon, getting throwdowns from a Black Cap can’t be far from the bucket list.

But one suspects ecstasy wasn’t the only sensation the Prime Minister was experiencing when Black Cap quick Neil Wagner started aiming for the badge on Luxon’s non-existent helmet.

The location is Premier House, the official residence of the Prime Minister. Luxon is hosting an event on Monday evening for the New Zealand and Australian cricket teams before their two-test series begins at Wellington’s Basin Reserve later this week.

The PM and Sports Minister Chris Bishop make brief speeches welcoming the two teams.

Luxon starts in typical prime ministerial fashion before it expectedly descends into cricket nuffie territory when he admits he and Bishop re-enact great games of the past involving the young men, some 20 years his junior, sitting in front of him.

“We sort of imagine ourselves playing with you,” Luxon confesses, his fandom taking over.

It’s from that moment the anticipation is building towards the inevitable - when is Luxon going to pick up the bat?

A short pitch has been mown into the Premier House lawn specifically for the occasion.

In the spirit of due diligence, members of the press pack give it a test run before the event starts.

The wicket is green and it’s undulating, meaning there’s inconsistent bounce but also plenty of turn. The soft yellow ball is hooping a mile in the overcast conditions, posing a real risk of losing the ball in the surrounding foliage.

Luxon has to do his duty as the leader of the country and exchange pleasantries with players and staff, leaving local school cricketers to have the first crack.

Bishop has less patience and within minutes he has discarded his suit jacket and is warming up.

The minister’s first somewhat loopy off-cutter gets dispatched through the covers. However, he redeems himself soon after with a quite lovely delivery that castles the Wellington College 1st Xl captain.

With plastic yellow bat in hand, Bishop’s start is promising, sending his first delivery blazing through midwicket. He holds the pose with bat aloft, clearly chuffed with his effort.

He’s going swimmingly until Australian opening batter Usman Khawaja traps him LBW. It’s so plumb even Bishop gives himself out.

As entertaining as Bishop’s time at the crease was, the crowd still hasn’t seen Luxon take guard.

Luxon spends a long time in conversation with Australian skipper Pat Cummins. At one point, while talking to Black Cap Devon Conway, the pair get talking about roading.

Finally, just as one TV news reporter is about to broadcast live from Premier House, Luxon takes off his blazer and tie and it’s game on.

In the few times Luxon has played publicly, he’s shown his prowess as a decent hitter but one that appears to prioritise the distance of his shot over textbook technique.

Bishop is the first to bowl to him. One wonders whether this was pre-arranged.

Suspicions heighten when Bishop sends the ball down on a friendly length which Luxon gratefully deposits into the trees.

Luxon soon returns the favour when he gives Bishop an easy caught-and-bowled. Savvy politics from the PM to ensure the Sports Minister doesn’t lose face in front of the national team.

The pressure ratchets up when Black Cap wunderkind Rachin Ravindra steps forward and requests the ball.

However, the left-arm offspinner struggles with his length. Luxon handles it comfortably. Ravindra walks back, citing a slippery ball.

The task of dismissing the Prime Minister falls to short-ball specialist Neil Wagner. Luxon, who’s well aware of the fast bowler’s reputation, boldly asks Wagner for some chin music.

A grinning Wagner doesn’t need another invitation, sending two deliveries hurtling up towards Luxon’s unprotected head.

The PM doesn’t take any chances, moving well clear of the ball to approving noises from the crowd.

In the end, it’s the one aimed at Luxon’s toes which is his undoing. Wagner smashes into the base of the stumps, Luxon’s attempt at hitting the ball is about a week late.

But in true cricket nuffie fashion, Luxon wears a beaming smile as he walks forward and shakes Wagner’s hand saying: “I’m such a big fan, I’ve literally been watching you for years.”

Adam Pearse is a political reporter in the NZ Herald Press Gallery team, based at Parliament. He has worked for NZME since 2018, covering sport and health for the Northern Advocate in Whangārei before moving to the Herald in Auckland, covering Covid-19 and crime.