'Before' star Rosie Perez on the moments that got 'a little too real' playing a foster mother

Rosie Perez joins costar Billy Crystal in the new Apple TV+ drama Before, with showrunner Sarah Thorp. The psychological thriller introduces us to Eli (Crystal), a child psychologist who's grieving the loss of his wife (played by Judith Light) when a child, Noah (Jacobi Jupe), appears at his door, scared and seemingly in distress. But Eli discovers a mysterious and unexpected connection between his past and Noah.

Perez plays Denise, who has been Noah's foster mother for about eight months when he appears on Eli's doorstep, after the previous family thought he was too "unnerving" to take care of. But from the time Denise meets Noah, he's deteriorated and no longer speaks.

"Honestly, I think he’s afraid of himself," Denise tells Eli, who's trying to learn more about this child.

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'There were times where it got a little too real for me'

Anyone who's read Perez's memoir, "Handbook for an Unpredictable Life: How I Survived Sister Renata and My Crazy Mother, and Still Came Out Smiling (with Great Hair)," will see a close connection between Denise and the actor. Perez grew up living in group homes and foster care, including one Catholic home for orphaned children.

While Perez initially wasn't in contention for the role of Denise, she shared her thoughts about how important that character is with Crystal.

"I said, 'Make her a person who cares, make her a person who cares and really wants to care for somebody who is troubled," Perez shared with Yahoo Canada. "Someone who was in the system, the child welfare system, those are the people that had the most impact in my life and it really angers me when I see the portrayal of foster parents authoritative or superior, looking down at the child like, 'Oh, this poor thing, I'm going to be the superhero to come and rescue them,' because that never worked for me."

"So I said, 'Respect the kid's intelligence, make sure that they do that.' And I started crying."

It was after that moment that Perez was offered the role of Denise and she said yes, while recognizing that that this material was going to be particularly difficult for her, because the character is so close to the actor's lived experience.

But to enable Perez to have the safe space to explore Denise, and work through her emotions and feelings, the actor highlighted that Crystal "set the tone" on set and "offered everyone respect," which extended to the crew as well.

"The crew was so supportive, because as they were watching not just my delivery, but Billy's and Jacobi's and Judith Light, they would tell us during lunch, 'Oh my god, this is incredible.' And they weren't there just checking their phones, they were actually watching," Perez said.

"And there were times where it got a little too real for me and I had to [say], 'I need a break,' and I would walk away. I'm a grown up, so I didn't want to make it a big deal. And the crew was just, 'Do you need anything? Are you OK?' [I'd say], 'I'm fine. I just need to be left alone.' ... Then when I came back, the look in everyone's eyes was like, 'We're all here for you. We all got your back.' And it was just an amazing experience."

'One of the best gifts of my entire career'

Perez's portrayal of Denise will absolutely cut through your soul. It's incredibly touching and Perez made the character so layered and complex in a way that feels real and raw. But what's particularly moving about Denise is that you can tell she just wants to do her best for Noah, support him and love him, as she's trying to navigate being a foster parent.

There's one especially emotional moment in the series where Gail (Sakina Jaffrey), Eli's former colleague who's been working with Noah, recommends that Noah doesn't go home with Denise after a manic episode, but rather gets moved to a care facility.

"I know what it feels like to be the kid that no one understands, that nobody wants," Denise says to Gail. "I promised him a home, a real home, how can you just take that away from him?"

"We had discussed it before we shot and [Sakina Jaffrey] said, 'I'm just going to follow you,' and I said OK, and I looked at her and I said, 'I don't know how I'm going to deliver this, but here we go,'" Perez shared, getting emotional thinking about filming this scene. "And the director came over and ... I said, 'Please step away, let me do it and then give me a note.' And Sarah came over [and said,] 'Are you okay?' And I said, 'No, but if we don't shoot right now, I don't know if you're going to get it.'"

"I held the hand of the other actor and she looked at me and nodded. I said, 'Let's go.' And it was hard, to be honest, I needed a break. It was difficult, but I was so happy that I had the opportunity to say something like that. I really was, because nobody cheers the person who wants to give. Nobody cheers the person who wants to put their life second and put a child's life first. And to have that opportunity to deliver that and to deliver that understanding was probably one of the best gifts of my entire career."

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Perez hopes that people who watch Before and how Denise's story unfolds recognize that there are caring people in the world, giving more light to the "unsung heroes" in our society.

"I hope that people see, out there are caring people who want to make the world a better place, but specifically for an unwanted child, a child that's either been often displaced or just given away, it's a tough world out there and there's wonderful people out there as well," Perez said. "There's a lot of ugly, mean people as well, but let's hold up a glass to the heroes, the unsung heroes."

"I told Billy that, I said, 'Denise is an unsung hero and if you allow me to just give it my all, I promise you, I will try to do my best.' And he did. ... I hope people see that and maybe it'll inspire them to become a foster parent and do right by a child, because what I also wanted to bring to Denise is that she didn't have all the answers, and that was OK. And Noah provided her with a lot of answers and that surprised her as well."